Six months dating and no i love you
Maybe feeling comfortable enough to say “I’ll be staying here often”, and revealing whether you go for manual or electric; maybe it’s just a happy coincidence (happier if you go electric – it’s so much cleaner). It’s all brilliant, they smell like roses and you couldn’t be happier. It could be about where you’re supposed to go out for dinner. This is [insert name of the person you pulled six months ago].” You revert to your “home” personality type (obnoxious, a bit adolescent), while your partner worries about whether to hug or shake hands, whether to chime in or let you do the talking. This sounds a bit seedy, but it’s probably not (unless you want it to be? Maybe a short trip somewhere like Copenhagen, Dublin or some remote cottage in the Cotswolds.It could be about why you never clean your room or show any affection in public. If you make it through this then there will be many more. It sounds like a great idea at the time but never is.
This one coincides roughly with the time you should be leaving a toothbrush round their house. Now all your friends, your mum and that guy you met in a bar last year (but never followed up with) know you’re in a relationship and officially off the market. Also, everyone in the room knows you’re shagging and that’s awkward.Say it too early and you’re that person, the one people cross the room at parties to avoid.Too late, however, and you may find the moment has passed.For a while, you will hold hands everywhere, even when you don’t really want to (you just got out of a pub loo and didn’t dry your hands; you would quite like to get your phone out of your pocket but it’s in the same pocket as the hand they’re holding and you don’t want to stretch your arm across your body, etc).Probably two or three dates in and this is what you’ve been waiting for.Lucky then, that we have a smiley flowchart by dating website that dictates where our relationships should be at.
You ought have said “I love you” after four and a half months and had a talk about “the future” by a year. This assumes you haven’t got with each other already at a house party, as one person ashes on your bag and another screams because What Do You Mean? We no longer subscribe to Victorian values: Match is kind of right when it says it would be weird if you haven’t kissed by the end of the first date. It’s a little bit secondary school, and feels like more of a first-girlfriend-situation (you tentatively knocked hands and then held them for a bit on the bench outside Tesco). There will likely be a heart leap the first time you extend your hand, and then it will be normal.
You can throw this one out: nobody can buy houses these days.
To translate for the current economic climate: moving into a slightly nicer flat without any intrusive housemates around to walk in on your “romantic” cooking sessions. If you first met this boy or girl at 21 then no way.
This is in contrast to the 14% who wait four to six months, the 6% who take a year and an unlucky 3% of folks who have never told their partner they love them (maybe time to move on? At the other end the spectrum are the speedy lovers, who blurt out I love you within a month (13%) or even a week (3%).
The takeaway is that there is no perfect time to say I love you and every relationship is different.
This is never more applicable then when it comes to love. There are many factors that inhibit us from saying I love you: fear, uncertainty, a bad past experience.