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So I'm sitting there, eating an apple, my machine-gun in my lap. That's good, tomorrow dinner will be hare (writes it down). Obviously, he chosen student hell and had half a year of normal life. At -10 degrees Celsius, heating is switched on in British homes, while Finns change into a long-sleeved shirt.
Typical of Russian joke culture is a series of categories with fixed and highly familiar settings and characters.After a while, his wife comes in to check what's taking so long.A peasant dies and goes to Hell, but discovers when he gets there that there are actually two versions of Hell: Capitalist Hell and Communist Hell.So they lined up 100 million Chinese males, and commanded: "Ten-hut! " Then a soldier came to one end of the line, and kicked the first Chinese in the balls.The sound of "Chomp, chomp, chomp..." receded in the distance...Almost every print publication will have at least a few jokes in it, up to and including the TV guide.
They say that while in most countries, The Internet Is for Porn, in Russia, The Internet Is for Jokes.
Two African tribes established an alliance and conquered the third.
One of victorious chiefs tells another while eating the defeated chief: "Not very tasty". Though still better than what we had to eat at Lumumba University refectory". He replies: "I broke one and lost the other." "Incredible! An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are all captured by the Nazis and sentenced to death. The Frenchman goes first, and chooses a guillotine.
An American, a French guy and a Russian are on death row. But the guillotine is not working, so they set him free.
They are put into empty detention cells, given two large steel spheres each and told they will be released if they can do something extraordinary with them. The American has managed to balance one sphere perfectly on top of the other. The Frenchman does a show in which he juggles them every way possible. When they come to the Russian, they find him sitting there holding his head in despair. As he passes by the American, he whispers: "The guillotine is broken", so the American also chooses the guillotine, and is also set free.
His Lordship the General, next to me, jumps up and shouts "Old Man: I had an old Zaporozhets car, and I put my war-trophy Messerschmitt jet engine in it. - The elephant without a word grabs him with his trunk and throws him into a nearby swamp. That's good, tomorrow lunch will be wolf (writes it down). Seen great placards: "Everything in the name of Man, everything for the good of Man! (referring to the General Secretary of the Communist Party, who could be seen on national holidays receiving parades in Red Square.) A Georgian comes to an urologist and, without a word, pulls out his member and plops it on the examination table. At -200, hell freezes over and Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest.