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This website is intended as a safe place for Catholics and Former Catholics who are struggling or have struggled with some aspect of the Catholic church.It is not an anti-Catholic website or a “war on Catholicism,” though perhaps some conservative Catholics may view it differently.
If a woman feels her vocation is marriage, then this would require him to forsake his vocation so that she can gain hers, or, she would have to give up her vocation for him to keep his.Later, the priest may apologize, and even believe that he is sorry. I could only control my own actions, so I blamed myself the most. X for his schoolboy mentality and the way he handled and justified everything between us.But what he is sorry for is his harsh reaction, not any of his other actions. I blamed the church the least, only because the celibacy doctrine has been around for hundreds of years before I was even born—we knew the Church’s rules and broke them anyway, but hypocritically within its confines.If there’s continued contact with the priest after this apology and “forgiveness,” and the relationship continues to spiral completely out of control, then forgiveness becomes ever more elusive. It lies solely with the way he treated me in my most vulnerable hour, when I shared with him my feelings about wanting to either go one way or the other with him and stop living in limbo. All the forgiveness in the world cannot bring it back to its original state.For the priest to believe that an apology afterward will make things right is like taking a delicate flower, squashing it into the ground with his foot, then picking it up later fully expecting that it can be put together again the way it was before. The next line, “with mean will” is what I mean by this. The Church has some arguably rigid and Pharisaical doctrines, but each person is responsible for choosing whether to follow them and in doing so, causing a great deal of pain for another person.The woman will want to make excuses for him and will probably always love him.
But never forget that "yes he did use you." Emotionally, sexually, to meet his unmet needs—and in doing so, the priest along with his "bride" Catholicism, has also damaged the woman spirituality to some extent.
It is a "death drive" in a literal and personal sense for myself, but universally it means the cycle of euphoria, guilt, chastisement, withdrawal from the situation, addiction to it, and back to euphoria.
Each cycle becoming more intense and more destructive.
And, intentionally or not, he did this by manipulating, lying, and robbing a woman of her self-worth, manipulating her into believing there was the possibility of a true relationship, and finally, lying—to her, to himself, and to anyone he talks to—by saying that she never meant a thing to him.
In his defense, the priest may not even realize that he is doing this—he is probably living out the fantasy in his mind that the woman he loves is his wife and that he’s making a sacrificial love to her by saving both their souls so they can be together in heaven. So he is not only manipulating the woman, lying to her and robbing her of her self worth—he is doing these very same things to himself.
It’s intended to be a place of compassion, hope, and respect for all points of view that are expressed with kindness.