Overweight woman dating
Funnily enough, I had been in the middle of writing him back.
It's never easy to be rejected for any reason, but fat women get used to it in their interactions with men sadly because it seems to be more socially acceptable to express disgust with fat than it is express other complaints about a person's physical appearance.On Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, it had never mattered that my body wasn't pictured in my uploaded photos, but I didn't have any choice when it came to my online profile.So, with my hair curled, a beat face, and my favorite outfit on, I took that full-length mirror selfie in my college bedroom, testing out angles and poses for my profile that made me look good but not too good.I felt objectified, and more importantly, fetishized.All I had wanted while creating my profile was to meet someone new who accepted me and my body, but much like the men who simply didn't want to talk to me because I was fat, these men reduced me to nothing but the width of my hips, and that, I realized, was not what I wanted either.In our culture, people are taught, unfortunately, that being fat is bad. A fat person is just as worthy of love, respect, and kindness as any other person.
I've always wanted to know what goes on inside the heads of men who refuse to date a woman just because she is fat.
once cited a survey that found women were most afraid of meeting a serial killer online, while men were most scared of meeting someone who was secretly fat. Even at my lowest weight, I fell comfortably and surely in the category of fat girl, solidifying myself there as a permeant resident even as my body fluctuated over the years. Each time I filled out a profile, or matched with someone new, I had to clarify what has always been the most important piece of my appearance – that I am definitely, certainly, fat.
I knew before I ever started online dating that building an Ok Cupid and Tinder profile would be an exercise in how comfortable I was with my body, and how comfortable I was letting total strangers judge my worth on whether I was attractive or not. I used to believe that if I never acknowledged my weight, people wouldn't notice that I was fat.
On the one hand, as a sex writer, I understand that people are attracted to different things, so I wanted to keep an open mind.
That said, it's hard to be objective when someone is explaining why you don't give them an erection.
But on a platform where appearance is everything, I understood I'd have to be honest with, and about, myself in a way I hadn't been forced to before.