Needy men in relationships and dating
While a part of you goes 'Aww', there's another part that wonders how clingy their man really is.
Well, at first this may sound really sweet of him, who doesn't like a man who prioritises his date over his friends. Do this, not that: When the man starts giving you ultimatums, he's just started off with being needy. It starts from asking you to make a choice between him and the things that you want to do.Needy we call him, someone who wants to be around you 24/7.Here are the signs to know if you're in a relationship with such a man, who doesn't understand the concept of giving you any space at all. Constant sweet talker: Post first date, this man will sweet talk, but 'always'.In other words, you’re unlikely to have a happy ending with him, so steer clear of this species. “Unfortunately, such relationships aren’t healthy and don’t last the distance,” says Cindy. They aren’t just after a whirlwind romance; they want a freaking tornado – but what they don’t realise is that “true love can’t be rushed and isn’t fleeting... Talking marriage and baby names on your third date? it takes time and work to build a real bond,” says Cindy. I can’t go into as much depth as I’d like to in this post, but men and women have different senses of how they’d like to be noticed for things (and what they’d like to be noticed for.) At the root of it, when a man feels like he make a woman happy, he will not want to be in a relationship with her (or if he stays, he will not want to deepen it). Back to neediness: When a woman starts acting needy, especially in the beginning of a relationship, it shows up as the ultimate red flag. Neediness is synonymous with ’emotional dependency’, as in: “This woman is dependent on the guy in order for her to feel good.” Now, sometimes when I start explaining this, I’ll get a comment saying, “Oh so what? You can have it all, too, but what I’m trying to explain in this article is that you don’t get it from it.
On the other hand, when a woman acknowledges him for all the things he’s doing well, he will almost certainly want to deepen the relationship and stay in it. We’re supposed to be emotional robots with no feelings or desires and just accept anything a guy is doing without complaint? You create a relationship with those qualities by inspiring those things within the relationship.
Sadly, not all relationships resemble those from our childhood dreams. The truth is, he’s probably phoning you just to get his attention fix.
The latest breed of man to emerge from the dating badlands models himself on the Prince Charmings we obsessed over... Mr Normal would never suggest you skip your yoga class to meet him. Think about it: Does he ask about your work or family? Or does he just go on about himself, his needs, his life?
Yes, that's the first sign that he just can't do without you ever.
If after the first few dates, a man is constantly texting you throughout the day, narrating to you that he's busy daydreaming about you, naming his unborn kids with you, and is more than willing to meet you every now and then (embarrassing you outside your workplace with that pretty bunch of flowers), well, he's just too desperate and clingy.
He’s suave, intense and emotional – very much how we’d like our Prince Charming to be – but he’s also “desperate for emotional and physical closeness right away,” says Cindy Leong, founder of relationship consultancy Relationship Studio. Cinderfellas are often newly single and looking to be rescued. ..evidenced by the numerous Whatsapp messages from him by the time it’s 11am. “Flattering as it may feel, it’s a problem if he’s bothering you when he knows you’re at work or a family dinner.” 4. A true candidate for The One encourages your independence and interests, and does not crowd in on you. This story was originally published in the February 2016 issue of Her World magazine.