Husbands angry outbursts are intimidating
If you have a hot temper, you may feel like it’s out of your hands and there’s little you can do to tame the beast. Fact: While it’s true that suppressing and ignoring anger is unhealthy, venting is no better.
But anger problems have less to do with what happens to you than how you interpret and think about what happened.In order to express your anger in appropriate ways, you need to be in touch with what you are really feeling.Is your anger masking other feelings such as embarrassment, insecurity, hurt, shame, or vulnerability?The true goal of anger management isn’t to suppress feelings of anger but rather to understand the message behind the emotion and express it in a healthy way without losing control.When you do, you’ll not only feel better, you’ll also be more likely to get your needs met, be better able to manage conflict in your life, and strengthen your relationships.In fact, outbursts and tirades only fuel the fire and reinforce your anger problem.
Myth: Anger, aggression, and intimidation help me earn respect and get what I want. People may be afraid of you, but they won’t respect you if you can’t control yourself or handle opposing viewpoints. Fact: You can’t always control the situation you’re in or how it makes you feel, but you can control how you express your anger.
If you have a strong need to be in control or a fragile ego, you may interpret other perspectives as a challenge to your authority, rather than simply a different way of looking at things.
If you are uncomfortable with different emotions, disconnected, or stuck on an angry one-note response to situations, it’s important to get back in touch with your feelings.
If your knee-jerk response in many situations is anger, it’s likely that your temper is covering up your true feelings.
This is especially likely if you grew up in a family where expressing feelings was strongly discouraged.
The good news is that getting anger under control is easier than you think.