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She believes — and I agree — that more people need to talk openly about this because all older women hear (and thus believe) is that older men are them from the 50-something dating pool ASAP; I’m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck! As a newly single woman after an eight-plus year relationship, I am curious about what to expect this time, now that I’m 50-something instead of 40-something.I, too, am not looking for a husband (although I’m not necessarily against marrying), but I most definitely would like a partner — uhh, with conditions.
That said, the dating market for older singles isn’t all that easy. There just aren’t that many available singles our age and the ones who are available are an interesting lot (read Anne Lamott’s funny take of her year on to understand).The persistent belief is that women are looking for long-term committed relationship and men are looking for short-term sexual relationships.That may be true for younger people, but that isn’t always the case at this age, she says.Because men have shorter lifespans, many older men are interested in having a potential caregiver or a “nurse with a purse.” They tend to marry quicker than older women, but it isn’t because older women can’t find a hubby; it’s because women are more likely to be looking for a short-term relationship or a companion, not a husband.That isn’t true for my three girlfriends, but it’s true for me.Here’s what’s happened in the past year — two girlfriends have gotten engaged, and one has her condo on the market and is looking with her boyfriend to buy a new place and move in together. So, because of that and the fact that we live longer, she says, it’s worth putting the time and energy into looking for love regardless of your age.
They are all 50-something, empty-nesters and divorced. The difference between men and women at this age, however, is that we don’t necessarily want the same things.
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