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Train yourself to acknowledge their behavior without a judgment, such as “You chose to sit the other way on the chair” or “You colored the grass purple instead”.This gives them the freedom to be creative and discover things without expectations.

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When redirecting behavior, it is difficult to know how to phrase things in the best manner.Telling a child that they can’t do something makes them prove that they can, by telling you or showing you that it is in fact possible.Telling a kid to not do something makes them want to argue or rebel.You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.Train yourself to say what you want them to do instead of what you don’t. Notice the common element is starting with the word “you” and then acknowledging what they worked at, rather than what you think about it.We often try to teach lesson to kids about life at the most inappropriate times.

If a child gets hurt because they were doing something dangerous or inappropriate, they already learned their lesson.

“If you choose to (continue that behavior), you choose to (receive whatever consequence has already been established as a punishment)”.

You might say, “Erin, if you choose to poke your sister again, you choose to not watch TV for the rest of the day”.

This clearly communicates the expectation and the consequence, without a threat.

Parents tend to want control all of the time, and it takes work to allow kids to have freedom to do what they choose.

It is wasted words to try to express a rule when a child is upset, as they focus on one thing at a time.