Page recommends that you to find a partner or work with, and consult friends about patterns they’ve recognized in your relationships.As you might imagine, you’re bound to hit some hurty spots as you start to look clear-eyed at yourself, and — perhaps most terrifying — to solicit feedback from others.
This phase can be discouraging, but it’s an almost universal stop on the journey to healthy love. Keep your partner guessing.” In this worldview, youth, beauty and confidence are the magic talismans that lead to success.Yet in our 20s, 30s and even our early 40s, most of us weren’t ready to listen. But as we enter midlife, the idea of building sustainable and sustaining love becomes more compelling than ever. Try Cooking Together First) 4 Steps to Finding Lasting Love 1.Once you’ve done all this hard work, the book continues with strategies for taking your new awareness into dating.Page provides tools and suggestions for meeting potential mates., psychotherapist Ken Page takes that wisdom and drills into it, helping us learn not just to love ourselves in a facile sense, but to love, respect, and use as an emotional compass our deepest selves: the places of our greatest vulnerabilities.
What Page calls our “Core Gifts.”“Core Gifts are not the same as talents or skills,” Page writes.
Perhaps our vulnerabilities include former partners telling us we are “too intense.” Or maybe “too moody,” or “too demanding.” Perhaps we’ve heard these things again and again.
Perhaps, thinking back to our childhood, we hear echoes of the same accusations.
When we’re willing to let go of our flight patterns and leave our safety nets — which have become traps, not havens — that’s when we find our dating life can begin to change. The more we share our real feelings, desires and vulnerability, the more we risk being hurt.
As a result, we often create airbrushed versions of ourselves for the world to see.
But the end result, Page assures us, is learning to recognize and avoid relationships that don’t honor our deepest selves.