Dating someone in basic training
When my grandmother dated in middle school (yes, middle school) her parents had one primary rule for her.
Readiness can become a carrot on a stick, an ideal that can never be achieved.So I humbled myself and took my grandmother out for dinner to hear why she thought courtship was a bad idea all those years ago.She had predicted the failure of courtship back in the 90s and I wanted to understand how and why. After 20 years there still is no general consensus as to what courtship is.Visits and comments poured in from all over the country about how to make courtship work and why it did not work. I’m talking the kind of couples who first kissed at their wedding were filing for divorce. The deal was that if we put up with the rules and awkwardness of courtship now we could avoid the pain of divorce later.Each year I waited for courtship to start working and for my homeschool friends to start getting married. The whole point of courtship was to have a happy marriage, not a high divorce rate.So what on earth were they doing that worked so well?
Over dinner, my grandmother shared her story about what dating was like back in the 30s and 40s.
Some of the specific challenges I identified were: So I founded Practical
Its purpose: to instigate a national conversation about how to make courtship more practical. Then couples who did get married through courtship started getting divorced.
She went on to explain that there used to be a linguistic differentiation between “dating” and “going steady”.
“Going steady” meant you were going out with the same person multiple times in a row.
“If I had only gone out with 3 or 4 guys I wouldn’t have known what I wanted in a husband,” she said.