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He said he’d forgotten it and asked why age was such a big deal.“Age doesn’t matter to me, but the truth does,” I replied. I soon realised that dating apps were just a pool full of guys who were looking to hook up.
Things got more promising when I met a man with similar interests at the film lovers’ Meet Up. Many said it would have been nice if the guy at least paid on the first few dates, but it would also be nice if the woman asked if she could chip in.As a result, our relationship came to an abrupt end when we went to lunch and the bill came to US$10 each, but they’d only accept cash.I didn’t have enough on me so he paid by credit card and said: “You can pay me back by Pay Pal.” Ten dollars; was he serious?“I think it is important for mixed-culture couples to be open on the difference in expectations based on their own culture, and make an effort to find common ground,” she said.Victor – who lives in New York and has dated many Asian women – said the challenge comes down to expectations in a rapidly changing society.“Men should take care of the big things, such as the house, the car, and trips, and women can find a way to pay for other things,” my father once told me. In my profile I said I was seeking a long-term relationship: no one-night stands. One person who replied seemed nice enough, asking me how I was doing, and whether I’d like to go to dinner. “Well it’s all the weightlifting and eating right,” he said, as he wolfed down a plate of buffalo wings.
Within minutes I received dozens of “likes” and several text messages, but then realised they could not be from mature adults. When I turned up at the restaurant, the only person I saw looked like a college kid. He flinched when I half-jokingly asked to see his driving licence.
My date called, we’d make an actual dinner date, we’d both show up, and usually enjoy a good meal and conversation.
There seemed to be a formality to it, almost like attending Sunday Mass. Maybe that’s why I was all ears when a friend pointed to dating apps – Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Bumble – a free, fast, simple and user-friendly way to connect.
A recent survey in the US found that 34 per cent of singles have had sex before even going out on a date, and 48 per cent of millennials are more inclined to have sex before a date compared to other generations.
My friend Helen – born and raised in Hong Kong – has lived in the US and Japan, and doesn’t think culture has influenced who she dates, but believes it has changed her expectations of what a date is.
I was outdated, and confused by cultural and generational gaps.