Dating online industry statistics
He was an amateur MMA fighter, came from the hood — apparently a former gang member, as I learned later. We’re the dirty little secrets who get calls only after hours.It wasn’t that he necessarily made me feel threatened, but I knew the statistics. No matter how beautiful, intelligent, or successful, we are the ones who have to settle for being nothing more than receptacles for men’s desires and insecurities. “I’m a transgender woman.” I emphasized the woman part.
I found early disclosure necessary because we live in a world where trans panic is still justification for devaluing and even harming trans women.Laverne Cox has discussed the stigma around men who love trans women.Though I don’t necessarily agree that they are more stigmatized than the actual trans women they’re involved with, I do know that they deal with their own specific struggle. He had just moved to Atlanta from Chicago and had this whole stereotypical macho thing about him. We’d just met, so I can only imagine the infinite possibilities swirling in his head.That didn’t stop the intense expression of confusion that spread across his face.“So you’re a man? “Do you know how lucky you are that I’m not, like, crazy?
Because I know plenty of guys who would really do some shit to you.”“No, I’m a woman, a transgender woman,” I answered, trying to make him understand. His entire view of me had changed and there was no going back.
We rarely discuss the fact that often trans women are killed at the hands of their lovers or romantic or sexual partners, like Ty Underwood, a black trans woman, who was allegedly shot and murdered by a man she’d briefly been dating.
Just a week or so later, Yazmin Vash Payne suffered a similar fate in an apparent stabbing by her live-in boyfriend.
It’s not very personal, but it lessens the possibility of a more life-threatening situation. A few people — both men and women — have had a sense I was trans before I even told them.
Other times, potential partners seemed to feel pity for me and quietly congratulated themselves for deigning to date me; I’ve had to check the value I’ve placed on cis people who dared to consider me worthy of their attraction.
He was pretty homophobic and transphobic when I originally met him, which he attributed to his upbringing.