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Dating for academics

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By the end of the night, I stepped from his Pontiac feeling a bit sad.On the phone the next day, I got honest and told him that I didn’t think we had enough in common.

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He’s also mastered the art of knowing -- truly knowing -- his wife.Three years on contract with this university, then moving on.Why bother starting up something that might end up in heartbreak?After I cried, I lay in bed that night, hands and feet unfeeling, staring at the ceiling.I guess I’d known that interviewing out-of-state would put pressure on us; what I didn’t know was that it would immediately end the relationship.I had told him about it, but it wasn’t until I’d been called for an interview that my non-academic boyfriend started to get nervous.

I drove myself home from the airport and left messages on his answering machine that night, the next day and the day after that.

We chatted about nothing special that night -- a nice thing for a woman who’d been out of circulation for some time, but I could not find much to hold on to.

He talked about the Navy and his route; I talked about classes and my family.

“When I finish my job, I want to leave work at work,” says one business instructor I know.

When he was married to another instructor, they talked incessantly about their jobs. in English rhetoric married his longtime girlfriend who used to wait tables. Her life experience and intellectual curiosity count for a lot.

Six months of dating was just not enough time to build a relationship that we could both hold on to.