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Dating feedback

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The pain certainly would be lessened if only I knew the answer to a simple, obvious question: What the hell happened?After all, as one of the characters in Chekhov's puts it, "Truth, whatever it may be, is better than uncertainty." But as satisfying as it would be to conduct a brief exit interview whenever a dating situation goes awry, it's just not done.

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Here's what I am familiar with: the psychological torment that comes when a person with whom I've had one of the best conversations of my life shows no interest in having another.The good and the bad memories could be released in one fun cyber-klatch that felt more like venting to girlfriends over drinks than writing sketchy rants in Reddit groups (like the other gender has been known to do).More importantly—though perhaps less cathartic—women could read what their sisters-in-arms had to say about a potential love interest.(Remember, any girl can enter ratings.)But it’s more than the fact that ratings apps may not be as helpful to women as it seems in theory.They actually contribute to a toxic dating environment for both sexes.Yelp is great for sharing and searching out objective experiences about businesses and other professionally-related ratings.

Lulu is about rating each other in our most vulnerable, intimate capacities as (physical and emotional) lovers.

(Disclosure note: IAC, the parent company of The Daily Beast, owns the dating app Tinder.)But do you know what would be better? While the Internet has provided a fantastic way to share reviews and personal experiences that can help us hold businesses and institutions accountable, when it comes to personal relationships, especially romantic ones, there are severe drawbacks—not only for those being reviewed but also the ones writing them.

Lulu was marketed as the “Yelp for Men.” Why would we think it’s good to choose boyfriends the same way we choose Italian restaurants?

Or when a person who made me see cherubim when he kissed me drops completely out of contact without even having asked how I might feel about being used for sex.

(Usually it wouldn't interest me, but I would have made an exception, in his case.) Or when a certain someone who wanted to discuss what we would name our childrensuddenly disappears without a trace.

Since Lulu reviews are arguably far more subjective than any write-up about, say, a restaurant or a nail salon, from a purely pragmatic standpoint, they are far less useful.