Clubbing dating hangout man
Instead of giving a big explanation or even a small one, just say that you’ve made other plans, which you should do anyway as leaving yourself as an option makes you a passenger giving people the option of choosing you, while already chosen them.They’ll either meet you in the middle and make plans, or beat it.
It’s also important to consider the bigger picture: If someone rarely plans ahead, them leaving things till the last minute isn’t spontaneous – it’s routine.
This is a bit like the person who is so inconsistent that they become consistent at being inconsistent. If you have a healthy, mutual partnering and they surprise you periodically or you both decide to do things on the spur of the moment, spontaneity.
Part of being available and committed is being able to commit to doing basic things that if you’re not too busy trying to micromanage your intimacy and responsibility levels, you’d take for granted as being part of your relationship and Don’t be a passenger.
If you’re not comfortable with being dialadate, then don’t.
Spontaneous also doesn’t look like: You haven’t heard from them for several days, a week, a few weeks, or even months and then a text comes through “Hey…hope you’re well. ” And then after you spend time together, you don’t hear from them again for another several days/weeks/months until the next textvite comes through. You can be damn sure that it also doesn’t sound like a call after dark asking whether they can ‘come over’ – that’s a booty call.