Cerebral dating palsy single woman
That means something different for all of us: some of us walk with braces; some walk without anything; some use wheelchairs; some have hands, feet, and faces that do their own thing; some stand on their toes; some communicate verbally; some don’t.
Now I had a new “thing” to focus on — and one that people around me, even if they didn’t understand it, had at least heard of before. And unlike with disability, there was a prescribed narrative for how to deal with it, which I obviously embraced to a T: I announced my gayness during a Gay-Straight Alliance Meeting and was promptly elected club president for the following school year. I compartmentalized my disability and my sexuality like it was my job until after college.And it might have stopped her from being able to talk but she can still tell her story. Cerebral Palsy is a brain disorder that affects my movement and muscle control. I'm also super lucky my community raised money to buy a beach wheelchair that I can use.But even though I look a bit different cruising around in my wheelchair and talking through a tablet, I'm still just like you. I love going to the beach in it, and swimming in the water with my friends.” As a way to get a grasp on the whole CP situation, people like to ask me, “does it hurt?” In pain/not in pain is a good/bad binary that they can digest.In her first message, she admitted she was in the bathtub, drinking wine to keep her courage up.
In retrospect, bathtub computering is probably a bit of a red flag, but what impressed me at the time was her complete honesty about being nervous.
But beneath that, I asked myself something else: how often are people this open about what they want? I braced myself for the start of our little experiment, but things unfolded pretty much the same way as before.
I wanted to please her, but was also interested to see what this would mean for me and for my body. The delight of never knowing quickly gave way to frustration. Sure enough, when I finally asked, I got the answer I had feared: “I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you.” What that said to me was, “this woman still thinks I’m a little girl.” Up to that point, I thought I’d done everything “right”: cultivated a functional relationship, finally let someone see me with my clothes off, said yes to sex, talked about my body, listened about hers, been willing to try new things, behaved like an adult. All of a sudden, the “nice girl” formula that had made my disability palatable — acknowledge, but don’t dissect; laugh it off when things get tough — failed.
They will tell you how brave and inspirational you are, for sure (which, of course, is more about them than you). Everyone around you will manicure your life so that you don’t have to experience difficulty. That becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: when everyone takes care of you, it’s damn near impossible to grow up.
When I talk about these issues with straight people, I always say “the other difficult thing to do when you have a disability is get somebody to fuck you.” They laugh, I laugh, and we can all move on without really pausing to examine why that is.
I feel really free when I'm flying through the air.