The uncertainty that comes with an ex who still communicates with you is what fuels the “wanting” to be with him. You don’t know if and when you will see your ex again, and that causes anxiety and wanting which we often confuse for those amorous little butterflies.Basically, anyone who doesn’t give you anxiety, who doesn’t cause you to “want”, you don’t find exciting and therefore you think something is wrong, or missing.
It’s not that you have an aversion to good, decent, guys.Even the ones who look amazing on paper and are really nice looking!Guys with great jobs, similar interests, good sense of humor, and good looks…I find myself losing interest with them after only a few dates. Before I start doling out advice, I want to say bravo to you for even realizing you have a problem!Online dating is also just time-consuming.” – Kate, mid-twenties*.“I have deleted my Tinder app three times because even after I swipe right two million times I never get a match and even that one rare time I do get a match, I never get a response when I message someone.Those three things are present, however, when you are pining after an ex-boyfriend year after year; a man whose interest in you changes as frequently as the weather.
I suspect your break-ups took a very long time to stick, with many late night texts, and even a bit of hooking up?
It’s that you have an aversion to anyone that shows you a real ability to commit.
Guys who show interest, and express an eagerness to know you more seem boring to you because you know where they stand and there is no mystery, no thrill, and no excitement in that.
Simply put, the love of the chase points more to how you feel about yourself, than about the guy.
For more advice on how to break this habit of constantly getting bored and chasing guys, be on the look out for my next book, The Curse : Why you can’t find or keep the love you want, coming out later this year!
I’ve downloaded and deleted that app maybe six times in the last 12 months.