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I know you say most men are marriage-minded underneath but they seem much less interested in getting into a stable, committed relationship than women do, and seem to drag their heels.I pay them to leave.” There are a decent number of men out there who don’t really desire the same kind of relationship as you do. Men don’t need or want women in the same way women need or want men. Their needs are met by their male friendships and their careers and the last thing they want to do is hold your purse when shopping at Nordstrom. I just think there are more men than women who are okay with low-investment, low-return, that’s all. I remember reading somewhere that it was about 1 in 6 women vs. • 90% of the self-help market in bookstores is for women.Seriously, apart from “The Game” have you ever seen a relationship book for men that’s sold in airport bookstores? Women – at least my clients – can only date .0001% of men.These guys play on their terms, not yours and are a total waste of time to any woman trying to forge something real and lasting.
It’s like trying to teach a fish to ride a bicycle. Women expect their relationships to be transcendent.
A lot of men my age seem uninterested in a committed relationship, seeming to prefer a more casual “low investment, low return” approach to relationships. As a guy who was single for 35 years, I completely agree and think that – all things remaining equal – having a good relationship is a far superior state of being than being alone.
Do men actually ENJOY the endless tedium and stress of going on a string of disappointing dates? (This does not mean that I look down on single people or think you should be in an unsatisfying relationship so, please, spare me the complaints.) But what gets me the most excited, Elaine, is that you’ve forced me to consider something that I’ve never actually considered before: Why Don’t Men Hate Being Single As Much as Women Do?
• Women maintain closer friendships throughout life. She has friends who talk to their daughters every day. Elizabeth Gilbert, in her follow-up to “Eat, Pray, Love,” called “Committed”, explores these outlandish expectations that Western women have for love – which are nothing like what women in other cultures experience.
I’m as sensitive as they come and I talk to my best friends in New York about once a month. As a result, Western women are very disappointed in their men, whereas men aren’t nearly as disappointed in women. We just hate the fact that you need us to change so much.
This takes care of most of a man’s basic needs – for companionship, for laughs, for fun. This is unfortunate and short-sighted because nobody dies thinking that he wishes he had a 72” Sony instead of a 64” Vizio. Women, who are, in general, more emotional and intuitive, are more likely to define their lives by their relationships.